So today I was applying for jobs online via snagajob.com and out of the 450 jobs in Vegas that popped up, I started realizing that 80% of them I have applied too already!?!? WTF WORLD?!? What the hell is going on, and why can't I find a frigging stupid ass job?? I'm tired of holding back, I'm tired of being optimistic, I have gone to the point of freak out that I am NEVER leaving Vegas!!!!
Maybe this is what I get...You know, I'm the whole reason why this happened. I never said anything cause I knew people would be super pissed and judgemental, but yes, It's because of me and my flaky personality that we as a family are in this mess.
Here's what happened: I was actually doing great at walmart. Bosses loved me, had friend's, was a very fast worker and had no real big issues going on at all. The only problem I had...was me.I hated my crappy job. I have never liked doing retail, Lord knows why I do it, maybe because a monkey can do it? *Sigh* I don't know.Anyway, long story short I let my ego grow stronger then my love and respect for my family, and I pulled a classic Lara and called in three days too many. Giving them no choice, since I was in my probational period and they fired me. So, all of the terrible shit that has happened to my family is all because of me. I have no one else to blame but myself. So now I sit here, no apartment, no Clayton, and no money, all because of my selfishness. To be honest, Clayton and I have had issues in the past and I'm surprised this wasn't the last straw. He has every good reason to divorce me, but yet, he hasn't....I guess that's what true love is....is forgiving someone over, and over, and over again, in hopes of them changing.
I don't deserve such a wonderful man, hell I don't deserve such a wonderful family that I have. And now Clayton is working in a crappy ass job, miserable that he can't see his kids, and it's all because of me........
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